My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
