Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
