Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
