Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
