What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
