she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
