Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So vagazzling was a success
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
