Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
