great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
