Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
