i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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