Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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