I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Everyone says I win the strip club
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
