Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
