you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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