She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
