the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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