a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
