this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
