you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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