you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
