I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize