just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
