Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize