i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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