He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize