I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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