What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!