? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?