i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
