I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
