New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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