spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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