Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
