you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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