to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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