I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
