I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
