Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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