Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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