Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
