It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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