3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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