We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
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I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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