So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize