I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
