he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
