Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
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Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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