she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
