Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
