She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
