I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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