Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
