He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So vagazzling was a success
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
