Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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