Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
