i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
