the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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