feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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