just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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