I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
