I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
