I hope mine doesn't look like that
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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