I think i peed on brittanys purse
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You took a bar mat shot.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
