Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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