god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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